Forward: This is a brief outline of what I am attempting on Twitter and I will add each tweet as a separate paragraph to give the feel of how it is appearing there...
For those that are interested I am about to start the Twitter Novel entitled: To Whom It May Concern - bet you are on the edge of your seats.
The rules are simple - each tweet must make sense on its own and no abbreviations are allowed (why am I making it more difficult?)
To whom it may concern, I write in response to a recent article in your publication about certain alleged activities that I was involved in.
In order to fully express my displeasure in the, frankly fictitious, article, I will deal with each point individually.
I was not wearing 'a ruff that would not have looked out of place on Blackadder'
I had merely neglected to remove my paper napkin after eating a rather tasty beef burger. I didn't want relish spilled on my shirt!
Thursday 24 June 2010
Tuesday 22 June 2010
To Whom It May Concern
OK, having dropped the hash tag, now I have to decide on a working title for my twitter book. Something pithy, short and to the point....
How about: The Constant Tweeter. Tweet of a Ridiculous Man. To Whom it May Concern. The Fat Man Tweeteth.
I think for now, I shall go with 'To Whom It May Concern'
I haven't decided yet whether to publish in the tweet sized chunks or as a collection on this blog. I think it will make more sense if I create a form of chapters to publish here. Watch this space :)
How about: The Constant Tweeter. Tweet of a Ridiculous Man. To Whom it May Concern. The Fat Man Tweeteth.
I think for now, I shall go with 'To Whom It May Concern'
I haven't decided yet whether to publish in the tweet sized chunks or as a collection on this blog. I think it will make more sense if I create a form of chapters to publish here. Watch this space :)
Monday 21 June 2010
TwitterMaths - Is This The End?
Theory No. 5 This theory refers to the followers and how they relate to friends, family and other acquaintences. If your followers are complete strangers, does this make your tweats more or less important than if they are friends etc.?
Whilst this theory is not exactly #TwitterMaths It is something that I have been thinking about. For example, in these ramblings of mine, those people that no me send messages along the lines of 'you are mad, but then we always knew that' whereas, strangers might well see them as amusing (I hope) but something to stir the imagination. Whichever is the case, I think that now is the time to leave #TwitterMaths for a while and move on to other topics. I will return to it should any further thoughts occur to me. Now the problem arises - what shall I postulate on next? Maybe I should try to write a story that makes sense in 140 character chunks? Would it be possible? Would I be able to keep it going? How many 140 chrs make a chapter? What would I call it? Can you build character back stories in such small chunks? These questions and more will be tackled soon!
Whilst this theory is not exactly #TwitterMaths It is something that I have been thinking about. For example, in these ramblings of mine, those people that no me send messages along the lines of 'you are mad, but then we always knew that' whereas, strangers might well see them as amusing (I hope) but something to stir the imagination. Whichever is the case, I think that now is the time to leave #TwitterMaths for a while and move on to other topics. I will return to it should any further thoughts occur to me. Now the problem arises - what shall I postulate on next? Maybe I should try to write a story that makes sense in 140 character chunks? Would it be possible? Would I be able to keep it going? How many 140 chrs make a chapter? What would I call it? Can you build character back stories in such small chunks? These questions and more will be tackled soon!
Friday 18 June 2010
New Branch of Mathematics - Theory 4 Part 3
It has occurred to me that Theory no.4 opens up an ugly possibility - I could be one of those tweaters who is recycling old tweats and passing them off as my own. The fact that I am not aware that I am doing this (if I am) thus means that a) I am not doing it and this is all my own deranged imagination or b) Twitter has taken on a life of its own and is controlling our thoughts. As conspiracy theories go, it's a bit different you must agree......unless of course that is Twitter controlling my thoughts to make me paranoid - methinks this is a road I should not go down :) Of course, there is another possibility and c) I am just a 40+ plagiarist who never had an original thought in his life. Always a distinct possibility but I hope one that I can prove wrong. If I can't prove it wrong and I am a plagiarist, I certainly hope that whomsoever I am copying from has plenty more to come as I am quite enjoying this! Until my next stream of consciousness...
I hope those fortunate (or otherwise) to read my ramblings enjoy a fun and love filled weekend :)
I hope those fortunate (or otherwise) to read my ramblings enjoy a fun and love filled weekend :)
New Branch of Mathematics - Theory 4 Part 2
In this blog, I have started editing out the hash tags and breaks to make reading them a little less laborious!
Sadly, my brain was hyperactive again last night and theory no.4 got somewhat expanded.
Let's begin with 'where do all the tweats go?'. I have expanded this question from just unread tweats as I now think that it is impossible for a tweat to be unread. Firstly, the tweater is reading it as he/she types. 2nd I can't believe anyone would continue tweating without even one follower and, as theorised in theory no.1, this is virtually impossible.
So, where do these tweats go? My first hypothesis is that old tweats do not disappear but are, in fact, recycled.
Whether the recycling occurs in this twittersphere or a parallel one, as yet I don't know. The hypothesis suggests that as Twitter expands, there are more potential tweaters than tweatable subjects. Therefore, there are many tweaters that have nothing to say. These tweaters trawl the twittersphere until the happen upon a subject that appears to have been either neglected or forgotten. They pick it up, dust it off and suddenly they have their own Twitter page.
Sadly, my brain was hyperactive again last night and theory no.4 got somewhat expanded.
Let's begin with 'where do all the tweats go?'. I have expanded this question from just unread tweats as I now think that it is impossible for a tweat to be unread. Firstly, the tweater is reading it as he/she types. 2nd I can't believe anyone would continue tweating without even one follower and, as theorised in theory no.1, this is virtually impossible.
So, where do these tweats go? My first hypothesis is that old tweats do not disappear but are, in fact, recycled.
Whether the recycling occurs in this twittersphere or a parallel one, as yet I don't know. The hypothesis suggests that as Twitter expands, there are more potential tweaters than tweatable subjects. Therefore, there are many tweaters that have nothing to say. These tweaters trawl the twittersphere until the happen upon a subject that appears to have been either neglected or forgotten. They pick it up, dust it off and suddenly they have their own Twitter page.
Thursday 17 June 2010
New Branch of Mathematics - Theory 4
1. #TwitterMaths Theory No.4 could, I fear, actually cause this whole hypothesis to implode. This is where #TwitterMaths goes from mere theory
2. #TwitterMaths ..to quantum theory. Obviously Quantum #TwitterMaths could, in itself, bring me my longed for doctorate. However, to the...
3. #TwitterMaths ..matter in hand. Theory No.4 concerns where all the unread tweats go. I hope to explore how many dimensions there are in the
4. #TwitterMaths Twittersphere. I will not spoil the plot by divulging my findings but would appreciate some external theorising though this...
5. #TwitterMaths ...may be impossible due to Theory 3!
2. #TwitterMaths ..to quantum theory. Obviously Quantum #TwitterMaths could, in itself, bring me my longed for doctorate. However, to the...
3. #TwitterMaths ..matter in hand. Theory No.4 concerns where all the unread tweats go. I hope to explore how many dimensions there are in the
4. #TwitterMaths Twittersphere. I will not spoil the plot by divulging my findings but would appreciate some external theorising though this...
5. #TwitterMaths ...may be impossible due to Theory 3!
New Branch of Mathematics - Theory 3
1. #TwitterMaths Theory No.3 The disappointment felt on losing a follower is inversely proportionate to the number followers.
2. #TwitterMaths That is to say, losing a follower when you have 50,000 is painless while losing a follower when you have 5 is terrible.
3. #TwitterMaths Theory No.3 can also be applied to trending. The ability to trend a subject is also proportionate to number of followers.
4. #TwitterMaths That is to say - to more followers you have, the easier it is to trend and vice versa.
5. #TwitterMaths This theory has a number of variables: 1. the number of followers. 2. the amount of time the tweeter has and 3...
6. #TwitterMaths...and 3. the number of tweets both 1 & 2 allow. Therefore, if x=the likelihood of trending, n=number of followers and...
7. #TwitterMaths...and t=minutes to tweet and w=number of tweets per min, we can say that x=n*tw - my first #TwitterMaths equation!
2. #TwitterMaths That is to say, losing a follower when you have 50,000 is painless while losing a follower when you have 5 is terrible.
3. #TwitterMaths Theory No.3 can also be applied to trending. The ability to trend a subject is also proportionate to number of followers.
4. #TwitterMaths That is to say - to more followers you have, the easier it is to trend and vice versa.
5. #TwitterMaths This theory has a number of variables: 1. the number of followers. 2. the amount of time the tweeter has and 3...
6. #TwitterMaths...and 3. the number of tweets both 1 & 2 allow. Therefore, if x=the likelihood of trending, n=number of followers and...
7. #TwitterMaths...and t=minutes to tweet and w=number of tweets per min, we can say that x=n*tw - my first #TwitterMaths equation!
New Branch of Mathematics - Theory 2
1. #TwitterMaths Theory 2 is based on the Fame Constant That is to say, if you are not famous ur next set of followers will be friends & family
2. #TwitterMaths Obviously there is a part of theory 2 that I can't directly explore due to my lack of fame. I need independant verification...
3. #TwitterMaths ...from someone with fame that their followers did not start purely with friend & family or it may upset my hypothesis!
2. #TwitterMaths Obviously there is a part of theory 2 that I can't directly explore due to my lack of fame. I need independant verification...
3. #TwitterMaths ...from someone with fame that their followers did not start purely with friend & family or it may upset my hypothesis!
New Branch of Mathematics - Theory 1
This is the first of my theories. Each numbered section was an individual tweat on Twitter...
1. I think there should be a new branch of mathematics- Twitter Maths. It deals with the proportionality of followers relative to other factors.
2. I will work on the theory over the next week or so until I figure it out. Could this be the 1st Twitter thesis- a nobel prize perhaps?
3. #TwitterMaths Theory no.1 The first followers any male will get are women who seem to have other accounts on 'pay sites'
4. #TwitterMaths These followers will last about 2 weeks until they realise you aren't going to pay 'to get laid - guaranteed'.
5. #TwitterMaths The other constant in theory 1 is that these temporary followers will invariably have pictures that look stunning
6. #TwitterMaths This part of Theory 1 leads to the first conclusion. In cyberspace, if a picture looks to good to be true then it probably is
7. #TwitterMaths I think that sorts theory no.1. Other conclusions maybe drawn from later theories that may require amendments to this. :)
1. I think there should be a new branch of mathematics- Twitter Maths. It deals with the proportionality of followers relative to other factors.
2. I will work on the theory over the next week or so until I figure it out. Could this be the 1st Twitter thesis- a nobel prize perhaps?
3. #TwitterMaths Theory no.1 The first followers any male will get are women who seem to have other accounts on 'pay sites'
4. #TwitterMaths These followers will last about 2 weeks until they realise you aren't going to pay 'to get laid - guaranteed'.
5. #TwitterMaths The other constant in theory 1 is that these temporary followers will invariably have pictures that look stunning
6. #TwitterMaths This part of Theory 1 leads to the first conclusion. In cyberspace, if a picture looks to good to be true then it probably is
7. #TwitterMaths I think that sorts theory no.1. Other conclusions maybe drawn from later theories that may require amendments to this. :)
What this is and why
I have started this blog because, through complete idiocy, I began a string of tweats on Twitter to try and get one of my tags 'trending'. To those of you not aware of Twitter, trending means that a subject in your tweats (prefixed by a #) becomes so tweated about, it becomes a trend on Twitter. I had several problems with this - the first was that, with such a small number of characters, my tweats tended to be three or four long to encapsulate my latest ramblings. Secondly, with only 7 followers of which 2 were corporate, I was never really going to get much response. Thirdly, and perhaps most importantly, I also had a job to do which meant I could not spend all day posting!
Undeterred by this and hoping that there were other idiots out in cyberspace that might pick up on my lunacy, I went ahead.
And now, I intend to string these Tweats together on this blog and, perhaps, create new streams of consciousness for you to read.
Initially it will be a little chaotic as I try and piece the small segments together. They may read strangely but that will be me not editing them properly.
Please feel free to comment if you have the inclination!
Undeterred by this and hoping that there were other idiots out in cyberspace that might pick up on my lunacy, I went ahead.
And now, I intend to string these Tweats together on this blog and, perhaps, create new streams of consciousness for you to read.
Initially it will be a little chaotic as I try and piece the small segments together. They may read strangely but that will be me not editing them properly.
Please feel free to comment if you have the inclination!
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