Life's Little Dramas Part 16

Well, the last 48 hours have had a real mixture of highs and lows! Nothing major in the low department but certainly some gritted teeth moments.

The day started with an accident on the way to work causing long delays. Not, in itself, anything to cause issues as I am usually pathologically early for everything so, even with the major delay, I was at my desk before 9am. However, whilst crawling along, I saw another accident happening on the opposite carriageway. It was the strangest sensation of appearing to be in slow motion. I have no idea what caused the van to swerve, it may have been another car braking, a mechanical fault or even oil on the road but the gentle fishtailing was obviously beyond the driver’s ability to control. This gentle sway became more pronounced until he started to spin before ending up pointing the wrong way on the soft verge at the side. What was amazing to me was that, it was a dual carriageway, at the height of the morning rush hour and he didn’t touch a thing – not the central reservation, other cars or even one of the trees lining the side of the road. He also managed to have his hazard lights on before the vehicle stopped moving – got to be impressed by that!

Oddly, despite not being involved in the incident, it gave me the shakes and I felt quite light headed when I got to work.

Next, I had a call from my wife to say that, having put up with the stinging sensation from her scar every time she got up, she had called the District Nurse to ask if it was normal. It turns out that she should have been using some sterile wipes daily on the scar to keep it clean and aid healing. This would have been good to have been told about a little sooner but, as far as we can tell, no damage has been done.

And finally for now, proof that I really need to catch up on some sleep! I have discovered a new game – Urinal Roulette. This is not quite as dodgy as it sounds!! In the toilets where I work, the wall mounted urinals have a raised plastic piece in the plug hole that has 10 notches – I am assuming that this is to stop larger objects from blocking the system – and, like all public lavatories, they are regularly filled with coloured blocks that clean and smell nice. Now, as the urinals are used, these blocks slowly reduce in size and tend to become ball shaped. At this point, my game begins. Whilst using the facilities, the balls of cleaner will start to rotate around the plug within the flow of ‘fluid’. I will then mentally place a bet on where it will finish up within the notches. And so, Urinal Roulette was born. And yes, I do need to get out more!

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Life's Little Dramas Part 15a

As a short update to yesterdays post, the staple have been removed. Now the scar is stinging as it is pulled slightly during manoeuvres around the house but this should pass quite soon apparently. The bruising is severe and explains some of the pain that she has been in!

Now we just have to wait. Today is one week since the op and we were told that the results of the biopsy would be ready in two weeks. As I mentioned, we are hoping not to hear as they will only contact us directly if there is any indication of malignancy. Here is a real case of 'no news is good news'!

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Life's Little Dramas Part 15

A brief update - Today we are due to be visited by Nerys Hughes. That will probably pass anyone under 35 by so I will illuminate those of you with youth on your side! There was once a very popular series starring that particular lady called The District Nurse and we are expecting the district nurse to visit my wife today. OK, so that wasn't very interesting but it amused me! What is quite interesting is that her visit is to assess whether or not the staples can be removed and do it if the answer is yes. This seems almost indecently hasty as the operation was only 1 week ago but, if it is to be the case, then it is very impressive! Personally, I am relieved to be at work as I have seen the instrument with which said staples will be removed - it looks like an industrial staple remover you would use on packaging! I would faint before the tool got withing 6 inches of the wound and would, therefore, be completely useless.

I also thought you might be amused by a tale of failed bathing. My good lady hates being 'dirty' and wanted to have a bath prior to a threatened visit by her brother, sister-in-law and assorted brood. She is under strict instructions not to get her wound wet so, with electric raising and lowering chair thing fitted in the bath, I suggested that we could lower her part way thus avoiding immersion of the offending area. Next she decided that she would like me to wash her hair. This would make keeping that area dry nigh on impossible so we struck upon the idea of wrapping her scar in cling film. This would not keep water out if submerged but would keep her dry from splashing caused by the hair washing. Suitably wrapped, we got her seated and ready to be lowered so I pressed the button and....nothing! The bloody seat would not go down. In the end, her feet were in the water and I washer her hair at a very comfortable level for me but not the ideal set up for her. Still, at least she was able to clean herself ready for the visitation which, after putting on the posh coffee machine and laying out shortbread biscuits for the horde, turned out to be just her brother. Ho, hum.

Anyway. Time to work and await the news of Nerys :)

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Life's Little Dramas Part 14

Well, as of 12.30 yesterday afternoon, my wife is home. She did not enjoy the journey by hospital transport due to the nature of the suspension and had bled slightly by the time she was home but, most importantly, she is now in her own environment.

She is sore and in quite a deal of pain but that is to be expected. The unexpected result of the procedure is 'wind'. It seems that as a tool for the surgeons, they pump the area full of air. I presume to give more area to work in whilst not opening up more than is necessary. This meant that, whilst watching Marple last night, I was treated to a series of belches and 'other' wind that sadly and childishly made me giggle. Trying to explain to someone who is laced with pain killers and is trying to release the pressure on her abdomen that burps and farts are funny just elicited frowns - but I couldn't help it!

On Monday, we expect a nurse to arrive and remove the staples they now use to hold bits of flesh together. This will, no doubt, increase her pain levels again but it is another step on the recovery road so should be embraced. Last night, she even slept for quite a number of hours and even went back to sleep after a call of nature in the middle of the night - something that would not have happened before.

So, for now, we take things very slowly and she will have to put up with my cooking attempts and my housework. As time goes on, we may have more hurdles to jump but we can at least look forward more than a couple of weeks at a time again.

For readers of this blog who have started reading during these last, fraught, couple of months, I will continue to update during the recovery though, once that is out of the way, I can hope that these may become fewer and further between but I hope you will look in on some of my other musings as I write them. All those that have read any of  Life's Little Dramas, you have made the process bearable without ever commenting (apart from my two very good friends - you know who you are and you have both been rocks), you may think you did nothing but, just knowing that someone was looking made it feel worthwhile. It started out as a simple outlet for my concerns and worries but became much more than that. I love you all for that.

Anyway, to steal from Spinal Tap, 'But hey! Enough of my yacking'

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Life's Little Dramas Part 13

The operation was a success. The tumor (melony) has been removed. The best news of all though (well, just after the fact that my wife has come through it OK) is that the lump was benign!! Two characters that will mean a hell of a lot - B9. That's no chemo or radio therapy, no immediate risk of return or spread.

Now the long process of recovery starts. Very little that she will be allowed to do - it is described as Hotel Rest. That basically means that she has to be waited upon hand and foot. Do I care? Absolutely not! Things can only get better now! I will try and keep you updated as things occur.

Here's to a more relaxed 2012 :)

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Life's Little Dramas Part 12

Well, the big day has arrived.
Our dog is on holiday - that is what we tell her when we take her to the kennels.
My wife has been checked in and is due for the exorcism between 2 and three this afternoon.
I am at work.

It all sounds very calm doesn't it? Oh how wrong that is! On Friday night, I went shopping for the weekend and, on Saturday for what she called her 'last supper' (such a positive thought), I cooked roast chicken with roast potatoes, batter puddings, sprouts, carrots, homemade bread sauce and homemade stuffing. We ate, we drank and we went to bed at about 9pm. Sadly, we didn't both sleep. Whilst, mentally, I felt as if I was coping rather well and feeling quite relaxed, my body decided to tell me differently. At 2am I had to run to the toilet. At 3am I had to run again and, by 5am when my wife was awake, I was feeling decidedly jaded. To add to the fun, my childhood eczema decided it was time for a re-visit and both my forearms were covered and itching. This has meant that I have come to work in January with a short sleeved shirt on - that has raised a few eyebrows!

Thankfully, with 75 minutes on the commute, my stomach has decided to behave itself now so I am feeling a little less delicate. Now, all I can do is wait. I have to call the hospital before I leave tonight to ascertain whether she is awake and how things went. Until then, I have work to keep me occupied. The only other alternative would be to stay home and worry so I am in the best place. The countdown is now on for the demise of 'Melony'. Personally, I can't wait.

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Life's Little Dramas Part 11

Nothing major to report this time. This is more of an observation...

Considering the human body's amazing capacity to heal itself (within limits), it amazes me how it also conspires to make life as difficult as possible for itself! What I am talking about is sleep - or lack of it. As the exorcism approaches (Monday in case you had somehow forgotten :-) ), you would imagine that the self-preservation condition would kick in. The brain would acknowledge that the operation will be beneficial and relax to allow sleep or, the operation will be traumatic and, therefore, the body needs to rest to gather all its strength to be able to recover. Does it hell! The brain decides that this is a big and scary event that is approaching and so goes into overdrive. The upshot being that neither the patient nor myself got much more than a couple of hours sleep last night and that is likely to be similar or worse over the next two.

As I sit at my desk trying to remember all the things I thought of in the car on my commute that I needed to put down here, I realise that 75% of them have been forgotten. I will probably remember them in a few days time - far too late for them to be of any use and well after the time that I could have set them down here and amazed you with my wry and witty observations. Tiredness is a horrible sensation. You feel as if you are working at a different speed to the world around you, pathetic jokes seem hysterically funny (and you laugh dementedly whilst your friends / colleagues look at you in fear and sympathy), the simplest of tasks become increasingly difficult and everyday parts of your job that can be done in a matter of minutes suddenly need doing 5 minutes before you leave for home - and are usually done badly. If the brain and body are trying to tell you that they need a rest, perhaps they should realise that, if they waited until you were in your own home, you might actually be able to do something about it. I am reasonably sure that there are few employers that would be happy for you to rest your head upon your desk and take a nap at 10am! Though I may be (and frequently am) wrong.

For now, I shall have to satisfy myself with the thought that I may be able to squeeze in a little lie-in at the weekend and maybe a couple of nights sleep during our enforced separation but, I doubt it will happen. Saturday and Sunday will be taken up with re-spring cleaning the house (in case anyone visits and notices that it hasn't been done since last Sunday - they check you know) and packing the small case and make-up bag for her stay. The latter will, no doubt, be done at least three times as decisions about what to take are made, changed, changed again then changed back to the choices that were made in the first place. There will be minor tiffs over the stupidest of things and I will also have to set-up all the series recordings of the programs that must not be missed whilst she is away (but will probably never be watched - until I delete them 6 months down the line at which time they will be the only thing worth watching on TV from the 50+ channels we have at our disposal!) and searching for the dog's vaccination certificate for her stay at the kennels. I feel worn out just typing about it!

All I can concentrate on though, through all the mayhem is, the point of the whole procedure is to rid my wife of a growth that is now making her look like she is in the early stages of pregnancy. This is, without wishing to sound too dramatic, a life-saving operation. Should I be complaining? No. Should I be worried? Probably. Should I be strong? Of course I should but, am I? Not as strong as I want to be! Come Wednesday night, it will all be over and she will be home for 'hotel rest' assuming that all goes as it should. Then there will only be two things to concentrate on - First that she gets better and does not try to do too much too soon and second, the results of the biopsy which could, potentially, turn our world upside down again but could, equally, release us from this strange limbo. We will have to wait and see.

For now...Keep loving.